可能好睇過《宮心計》

剛剛和好友在MSN傾完。知性而注重心靈的她，不斷向我推介近期看過的書電視電影。談到近況，她問我有沒有看過 The Art of Happiness。我說沒有，卻想起我近期看的那本書。角度不同，我們明明都在思想生活模式嘛。

最近在看一個BBC的節目：Simon Schama 講解的The Power of Art。看得好過癮！原來有些偉大的藝術家一點都不唯美，是有血有肉有弱點有脾氣甚至是逃犯。打頭陣的是 Caravaggio。Caravaggio父母早亡，在羅馬低下層靠畫畫打滾多年。他一開始便打正不妥協主義，出色的筆法下充滿人世的病態與瑕疵，和早前米高安哲開創的新理想主義完全對著幹。可是有才便是有才，牛逼就是牛逼，終於被有財有勢的主教 Francesco Maria Del Monte 賞識，羅致他入他的藝術行宮 (palazzo) 專心作畫。Simon Schama 形容這個不可能拒絕的邀請："beds, board, smartest company in Rome, poets, philosopher, terrific kitchen, my dear, never a dull moment (睡床、房間、羅馬最聰明的人作伴：詩人、哲學家、棒絕的伙食，親愛的，絕沒有悶的一刻...)"

簡直是現在的 Google Campus 嘛！

悲劇的因子卻種在，Caravaggio本身有自大加上暴力的潛伏人格。每次出外總不忘帶著一把劍、一彎匕首。別人敢說錯一句話或看他不對一眼，就即場鬧事單挑。他一次又一次被關進牢獄，卻一次又一次被想請他作畫的有勢力人士營救（有一段他自己逃獄出來簡直像《基度山恩仇記》）。只因他的巴洛克現實風格，將市井酒窖畫到觀者有如置身其中，當時在羅馬還找不到第二人。


（也只有在文藝復興時期，犯了罪的藝術家才能因畫得一手好畫而被赦免吧？）

Caravaggio也一次又一次的用畫作向權貴請罪，也藉着創作自我懺悔。他的畫越來越官能暴烈，血淋淋的把人性的醜惡展現在觀者的眼前。可是創作沒能幫他驅趕心中的惡魔。在一次的單挑事件中，他終於殺了人。


Caravaggio為這宗罪行逃亡多時，亦在這段期間創作出他人生中最沉鬱也是最高峰的作品。我看過他的畫一次，總覺得他愛用深不見底夜湖般的沉黑做背景，來襯托他的主題人物。那時以為是對照的技法，現在才知那是他本人精神的底色。


這就是他最享負盛名的作品。那被割下頭的歌利亞，是Caravaggio自己的頭像。他在流放的途中把這幅畫獻給主教的姪兒 Borgese，畫寄到了，Caravaggio只要返到羅馬便得到赦免，他卻在途上得病死了，屍骨無存。

所以藝術創作可以療傷、可以自鑑、可以請罪、可以求情，但究竟有沒有救贖？

昨天看Caravaggio沒有，今日看的Bernini卻有善終。期待 Rembrandt、Van Gogh 與 Picasso。

本來以為會好 intellectual，估唔到重好睇過連續劇。

選擇的迷思，六之餘：後悔、遺憾、習慣、失落

Barry Schwartz《選擇的迷思》 以社會科學的角度，解構我們為甚麼比以前的人多了物質多了選擇，卻越來越不開心。這本書行文顯淺，例子生活化，就像一個教授為你的選擇人生寫了綜合詳盡的 大考筆記（加上幽默的插圖），助你破解生活上越來越長多、也越來越長的選擇題。我以為是每個現代城市人必讀的一本書。

---------------------------------------

後悔、遺憾、習慣、失落、比下去、無力感。選擇過多的副產品。有同感嗎？書裡有解困的十一個提議。

內容我不詳細寫了，反而想引一引書尾，形容我們現代的生活狀態的這一段，也是這個課題值得思考的原因：

"Here we are. Living at the pinnacle of human possibility, awash in material abundance. As a society, we have achieved what our ancestors could, at most, only dream about, but it has come at a great price. We get what we say we want, only to discover that what we want doesn't satisfy us to the degree that we expect. We are surrounded by modern, time-saving devices, but we never seem to have enough time. We are free to be authors of our own lives, but we don't know exactly what kind of lives we want to 'write'."

我姑且試譯：『我們在這兒。活在人類可能性的最高點，淹沒在豐盛的物質當中。作為一個社會，我們達到了我們祖先只能，極其量，夢想到的，但這得來是有代價的。我們得到了我們所想，才發覺我們所想並不像預期的給我們滿足。我們被現代、省時的設備包圍，卻永遠好像不夠時間。我們可自由地做我們生命的作者，但我們並不知道我們想「寫」甚麼樣的人生。』

似曾相識嗎？

小薇姨

小時候大人們講起小姨時我都會在四周俄延，扮作在地上玩耍偷聽。他們都好像不太願意和她有關係，總睥我一眼說：「他小姨」，母親就搖搖頭，說她跟同居的男人怎樣怎樣。

母親不是一個八卦的女人，相反是個非常務實的人。是非是場面上的情報，人情中的貨幣，適當的交換一下是必須的。何況母親年紀比小姨大很多，是半個長輩，看起來不大親近。她對我則一直相敬如賓。她客客氣氣，我也就規規矩矩。

他們都說小姨有錢，住在郊外一幢三層的獨立樓房。他們說起是非來有一種特別的氣氛。有一次，我聽見母親低聲說小姨換男友了，新男友的準備替房子重新裝修。

那時我還未見過小姨。他們說我的眼睛像她，我便不停問真的真的嗎？他們就說小男孩太關心外表不好，太八卦也不好。可是我喜歡聽他們講別人的事情，好像跟著大人們參與了一場祭奠，犧牲了別人，淨化了自己，身份也因擔待了內情而隆重起來。

後來母親終於決定帶著我去看她。我穿了我最得體的白恤衫條子西褲，還把頭髮定了形。我們搭火車，轉火車，又轉上了一輛計程車。我坐車坐得心慌，皺眉問怎麼這麼遠。母親說以前更遠，是另外一個區！後來就來到那座傳說中的大屋。我現在已忘了它當時的樣子——後來改動太多次了——大概就是電視裡有錢人的別墅的樣子。我想像一個貴婦人穿著絲絨長袍步下一道輝煌的旋梯。

入到屋卻看不見旋梯，家務助理跟我們解釋了一輪，她的鄉音叫我們聽得頭頂冒煙，母親理解為說屋正在大修，不好意思甚麼的。她帶我們到二樓的一個偏廳，擺著金漆白底的古董餐椅桌，無數有趣的裝飾物。我有生以來沒見過這樣精緻的東西，暗自發願要做小姨最好的姪兒，將來好當這裡的少主人。

小姨從偏廳後的一趟?小樓梯走下來，我立即呆住了：她穿個普通的運動白上衣，褪色的灰牛仔褲，烏黑的頭髮在腦後?成馬尾。她的確和我一樣有雙水瑩瑩的黑眼睛，不過我的是長形的，她是大顆的杏眼，下面淡淡一個鼻的影子，淡淡的櫻桃小嘴。尖小的杏形臉，晶透的皮膚，她的人像她的名字桂薇一樣，香風撲鼻的。她怎可能是個大人？是比我大一點的姐姐罷？

她看見我們自顧自笑了笑，東張面望，到古董餐桌前坐下來，繞起雙腳，拎起桌上類似泥膠的東西玩弄。母親好像習慣了她的行徑，拉著我坐了下來，問『你還做陶瓷嗎？』小姨還是不看我們，幾乎透明的嘴微微斜歪，好像有點自嘲的答：『沒做了，他叫我不要做，賺不了多少。現在幫舊朋友買賣些小貨。有時他給我點貼士，買股票賺點零頭。他說將來多買幾層房子，教我炒樓。』把手上的泥膠搓了圓又按扁，拉開了又合起來，沒完沒了。

母親聽了便說：『你這個新男友可不可靠？聽說另外還有家眷一大堆。』小姨望母親一眼，又回到手上的泥膠：『他會照顧我。我是他的門面。他出外帶我特別體面。他還替我請了管家。』果然偏廳外一個人影晃過，驟眼也像個穿管家服的男人。母親替她擔心，等管家消失了，又問：『你真愛這個人？你為他放棄事業值得嗎？長遠怎樣打算？』小姨像是聽到全世界最奇怪的事，仍說：『他會照顧我。』又低聲咕噥：『又不是我選他的…』後面還咕噥些甚麼聽不到，外面一陣裝修的雜聲蓋過了。

母親不好說甚麼，動身準備離去。我的眼淚快瞟出來——才來便要離開，我跟她還未講過話呢。小姨見我急了，把她手上捏著的公仔送給我。我一看，是個沒有臉孔的人形。

我小心奕奕的棒了回家，回到家人形已變了一個樣。我把它收在抽屜裡，不久便忘記了，再找時，已不知怎樣丟了。

我唯有儘量把小姨的面貌記在心裡。這以後大人們講她我索性目不轉睛的聽。

他們指著我笑：『愛上小姨了。』我不響。

我愛她，她卻不愛自己。

母親偶爾會跟小姨通電話。有一次通話以後向外宣佈：『不像話了，索性不出大門，吃飯叫人把食物送到房來。』

母親唯有再去看她。我們被告知大屋還在裝修，又回到那偏廳，卻比上次暗了。我們望一望，原來本來有窗戶那一邊起了牆封住了。

小姨穿著絲睡袍從房間走下來，披頭散髮，皮膚乾涸了，眉頭緊緊皺著。

一看見我們她便跟我們埋怨管家管理不周，饍食越來越差，刻薄家務助理甚麼的。

我很失望。她變得和其他大人沒兩樣了。

母親聽著聽著看不過去，說：『你可以自己來呀！』

小姨望著母親，空洞的眼神。

接著管家來把午餐用小金托盤送上來。她吃一吃，覺得很難吃，罵起管家來。

那管家一字一句的解釋食物的來源和質素下降的原因。解釋完了，她還在罵，他木然的望著她不作聲，但我偷看到他瞄了瞄手錶。

後來她罵累了，他便離去。母親見她人老珠黃，怕她失勢，勸她重新工作。小姨打斷母親：『工甚麼作？我把這裡間開了分租出去，好賺得多。』

母親唉了口氣：『這也是你的選擇。』小姨還是當年那個眼神。

離開時我看見小姨在頂樓一個窗前和我們揮手，我叫母親看，她已不見了。

此後母親聽說小姨家分租出去給富人養小老婆，形同私竇；小姨自己則開始疑神疑鬼，常常打電話來說她的其中一個房間住了男友的另一個女友，不過裝修的人故意把間格改來改去，以致她一直找不了那個女人。母親聽她語無倫次，怕麻煩，把小姨一點一點的疏遠了。我也漸漸地長大，整天忙著應付考試，發展自己的喜好。我斷了做少主的寄望，對前景不甚了了，覺得人生無甚麼意義，漸漸趨於頹廢，亂交女朋友，吸煙，吸毒，亂買東西。母親一直罵我，我毫不留情的回罵她自私自利。

我痛恨母親講了小姨這麼多年，卻不把小姨救出來。沒有行動的愛是虛假的。

母親說我忤逆，連我也放棄了。

我的成績不夠升學，我在這個家待不下去了，做好做歹求父母供我到外國讀書，但求走得越遠越好。

就在我飛走前一個禮拜，小姨打了電話來，說她終於找到那女人的房間。『我一打開房門，挑！你知是誰？挑！是我自己。』然後就掛了線。母親放下電話，把小姨的話覆述最後一遍。對父親說：『出事了。』

我們趕去。房子已被改得面目全非。管家和家務助理也不知去向。向租房的人問，幾經轉折又來到那個偏廳。我們第一次循廳後的小梯上去，打開那房門。

一陣腐臭撲鼻。小姨在她的睡胞裡，上半身乾娘竭，下半身腫爛，小金托盤在她面前的梳妝檯上，還有食物的殘渣。

母親唉口氣說：『你說這是自己討來還是命定的呢？』心裡在盤算辦喪得做的工夫。

我卻是完全清醒了。我決心努力讀書，就算困難也不要靠人等死。


~~~~~~~

萬聖節快樂！這「鬼故」是我這兩天作的，你覺得還可以嗎？請留言給點意見！我想好待會要扮甚麼了，你呢？

幾年前無聊創作 —— 土布狗的襲擊！！！

隱伏在暗處土布狗

竄出來了——幹甚麼呢？

哦——原來是嗅到了漢堡....

弊！給黑貓神探發現了！

它立即展開追捕！

千鈞一髮，it's now or never！

嚇！

哈！

〈土布狗的襲擊〉
featuring： 啡紙袋、KIDD Valley 外賣
introducing： 廣東土布狗
similar work: http://www.flickr.com/photos/bitrot/1402966938/




多謝收看

遇過的人：The Number 6

在圖書館的落地玻璃前塗塗寫寫一個下午。留意到對面遠處法院廣闊的紅色階級上，半倚著一個儷人—— 仿60's橙與白抽象剪裁的直身背心裙，停在大腿中間，下面長長的腿，視線裡她只有幾公分大小吧，我仍肯定她的白色高錚鞋起碼有四寸半，是今季流行的綑縳款式；她的髮色也是今夏大熱的白金，在陰影裡不徐不疾的看小報，身是直的，腿一直伸延得很漂亮，整個人像從紐約柏克大道移植過來，又像Battlestar Galactica 裡的 Number Six，不過Number Six 有種悍勁，她則是優裕甜美。

我實在想不到這樣一個 platinum blonde 把浪費一個星期六下午在空無一人的法院前看小報的道理——她的追求者如此不濟？埋頭工作好一陣，後來再抬頭掂念一望，她不見了，只見另一邊平伏的草地上站著一個黑衣警衛。

又過了一兩個鐘，我一天的額度完成了，便收拾步行回家。走過某住宅街區一眼看見她在對街迎面走來，第一想法是原來她的套裙近看是這樣子的，接著閃速看到她拖著一個圓壯像個健身波的銀髮的老男人，霎眼看去衣著也似乎是講究的，她自己則仍是格格不入的美。

我絕想不到這故事還有後續。回家需要向東走大約十條街，向北走十條街，每一條街只要向北向東都通，而我一向喜歡隨意走，又隔了一段時間了，居然迎面碰到她。可是碰到她又迷惘了——當然可以理所當然的把他們的想成最典型的配對：老胖男人配年輕美女，錢財地位配青春美貌。可這真故事的全部了麼？故事裡會有故事麼？她要是富人的女友，穿著又是一等一的，為甚麼會在法院前打發時間，而不到附近的名店購物？她到底在等甚麼？那人是法官律師麼？周未無人也工作？他們後來又為甚麼要往回走？我可以做些荷里活式的猜想，意料之外有人情，人情之外有不能說的秘密... 但我不想胡亂猜度。因為這明明是真實的人生。

吻 / 咬

舌吻 / 嘴嚼
交配 / 進食
前戲 / 撕鬥
溫存 / 折磨
愛撫 / 撲殺
受孕 / 消化
求愛 / 狩獵
生產 / 出恭

- 翻看《字花》08.02「咬」特集時想出來的，靈感來自多年前思忖獅子把鹿抱到懷裡吃食這個諷剌的畫面，自此以為，生物與生物之間最親密的交集，就惟有愛和吃了

另，寫完了發現，男人生命裡沒有受孕和生產的過程，好比吃完便餓，只好又四出咬人

真累

我玩故我在 / Creativity keeps us alive :)

Dame

電影《Hudsucker Proxy》演了一折，女主角在午餐小店後方推門而入，介入男主人公這一段的際遇裏。這時一旁兩個不相干的人開了口，輕哨一聲宣告：”Enter the dame”。

Enter the dame. 下一句是 “There’s one in every story.” 入戲的觀眾這時候醒了醒，意識到說故事的人在直接跟我們說話——很明顯這兩句不是對白，而是故事轉折的提示，是劇本裡用括弧括住的評語，被直接讀了出來。那兩個不相干的人是戲劇工具，本應一聲不響坐在背㬌裏的，這時被導演點上了，一下子神起來，化身成為說書人，在電影的中段為片首的旁白續句。

Enter the dame，好比馬格利特的「這不是一個煙斗」，把觀眾敍述中拉出來，觀眾被打了岔，吊癮的亟想返回故事裡：「接著怎樣了？」往下的一段因劇情需要非常公式化，但是我們全神灌注的聽兩個局外人指指點點，抵死的把這一場的腸逐線逐條畫出來。

Enter the dame也是預告，作用如同每集《包青天》裡都要喊一遍的「包大人到！」觀眾一聽便精神一振，留心劇情怎樣往峰迴路轉裡發展。這Enter the dame裡的dame字也講究，包大人再神通廣大，也敵不過這個子小小意態嫵媚的dame。這稱呼帶點輕浮貶意，你卻不能小看她，因她是未知數，亦正亦邪，可大可小，幾乎是femme fatale。The dame出場了，到底她會毀了男主角呢，還是愛上他，還是愛他又毀了他呢，我們都打起十二分精神看下去。

編導《Hudsucker Proxy》的高安兄弟對自已電影裡的語言極其執著，拿捏也十分精準。他們的對白不似日常對話，卻像是每個獨特角色的完美展現。高安兄弟也偏好加入旁白，相對現在流行的現場收音、現實主義，他們的電影更加像舊式荷里活片，編排奇巧，並標明：「這是一個故事」。他們另一部經典《The Big Lebowski》的開場白便是好例子：

“
A way out west there was a fella, fella I want to tell you about, fella by the name of Jeff Lebowski. At least, that was the handle his lovin' parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. This Lebowski, he called himself the Dude. Now, Dude, that's a name no one would self-apply where I come from. But then, there was a lot about the Dude that didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. And a lot about where he lived, like- wise. But then again, maybe that's why I found the place s'durned innarestin'.

They call Los Angeles the City of Angels. I didn't find it to be that exactly, but I'll allow as there are some nice folks there. 'Course, I can't say I seen London, and I never been to France, and I ain't never seen no queen in her damn undies as the fella says. But I'll tell you what, after seeing Los Angeles and thisahere story I'm about to unfold-- wal, I guess I seen somethin' ever' bit as stupefyin' as ya'd see in any a those other places, and in English too, so I can die with a smile on my face without feelin' like the good Lord gypped me.

Now this story I'm about to unfold took place back in the early nineties-- just about the time of our conflict with Sad'm and the Eye-rackies. I only mention it 'cause some- times there's a man--I won't say a hee-ro, 'cause what's a hee-ro?--but sometimes there's a man.

And I'm talkin' about the Dude here-- sometimes there's a man who, wal, he's the man for his time'n place, he fits right in there--and that's the Dude, in Los Angeles.
...and even if he's a lazy man, and the Dude was certainly that--quite possibly the laziest in Los Angeles County. ...which would place him high in the runnin' for laziest worldwide--but sometimes there's a man... sometimes there's a man.

一開頭就講一大段，而且語氣像個老式牛仔，一點都不像電影的開場，簡直是美國西部開荒時期，大家圍著營火講的某人輾轉相傳的窩囊事，而《The Big Lebowski》裡這個人，正好也在西部，是在「最後邊疆」加尼福尼亞的人，不過身處20世紀90年代。


連線：

• 想聽聽Enter the dame，按連線中劇院第二行中間的圓點便是。

Star Wars according to a 3 year old.

Full transcript: (I tried my best; feel free to send in corrections.)

“Well. Well. OK. The sand people have the robots and try (drive?) and sell them in raw sail boat, kindda like raw sail boat except they're selling robots. And no one is going to buy R2 and the signy (shiny?) guy. The signy guy oh he's worried - Luke's gonna buy those. Obi-Kenobi is kindda of a teacher. He's... he's saying "Luke!" how to learn... how to do his little light-up sword to try to block the little pokie ball. He tried to do it without seeing. Obi-Kenobi sometimes move things around. Sometimes he disappears. Princess Leia got out of jail and out in the spaceship? And they got the big thing that blow up stuff... We blow it up together. It blowed up Princess Leia' planet! But don't talk back to Darth Vader. He'll getcha! ...It's an exciting movie.

• It's amazing how much a 3-year old can comprehend. This is a complex story involving a world not directly concerning hers. She was able to follow the plot line, internalize it and retell the story in her own way. Incredible!
• I like how she used metaphors to help herself and her listeners understand unfamiliar concepts.... Reminds us that this is how we deal with this world of enormous complexity and overwhelming information -- we re-interpret something new by connecting it to something we already know: it's just like that thing, except a little different.
  
• When she had to explain things she can't compare to, she invented new terms to refer to them: the signy guy, the pokie ball, the light-up sword, and "trying to do it without seeing".. What a creative mind! Naming things is one of the human being's special skills. She's demonstrating this skill beautifully.
  
• And of course, while making connections and creating new ways to say things are fun, she well understood that there were rules to follow. Perhaps that's why we adults all seem to fall for the punchline: "But don't talk back to Darth Vader. He'll getcha!"

白雙全 PK 張愛玲

白雙全訪問中一句「生活你有份，所以你會明」很矚目。想起張愛玲那句：「因為懂得，所以慈悲」、以及她引過論語中的：「如得其情，哀矜而勿喜」。很少人在行文用語上能賽過張愛玲，可是我覺得白雙全那十個字更好，真是異數。當然白和張的句語所指有點不同。白講的是藝術—對他的藝術—的欣賞；張寫的是人性的同感同情，一個人對另一個人的明白與體會。可是如果將以上幾句都看作人對生活和人性的「通感」（也是白雙全的詞，很喜愛），我更喜歡白雙全那句。首要原因是它白。張那句已經很白（張白話文的造詣以至貢獻不用多說），但是白說「生活你有份，所以你會明」卻是簡單得不能再簡單、意義也明白不過。能用這樣簡白的語言解釋藝術這抽象無門的東西，說來也反映了白雙全作品的最大優點。更重要的是，白雙全那句比張的更為平然坦然：生活是人人有份、再孤寂的人也每天參與的事，所以無論你多蔽塞多笨多怪，你也可能知道、也可以明白。相對來說張理解的過程裡還有「懂得」，似乎要有點慧根。「如得其情」也像是碰巧得到了真相，不是人人可直接達到的。

再說，為甚「慈悲」呢？國語辭典說「慈悲」是：「佛教用語。慈指給予眾生安樂；悲指拔除眾生的痛苦。後俗訛為慈愛、悲憫的同義詞。」套於張句，可說是明白者對俗世蒼生的憐憫，或是悟者感受到了執者的痛處，帶有悲觀的意味。所以說「哀矜而勿喜」吧？我們明白了別人心中的委婉，內裡也同樣扭扭曲曲的，只有矜持，說不出來。這很富中國傳統人情的精神：肚裡知道，卻不足外人道（說也說不清）。

所以還是說不及白雙全的「生活你有份，所以你會明。」多現代，多積極！很少人能有張愛玲洞察人性的能力，但活著的人總有點生活體會。我投白一票！

artless comic strip

when lights are low and orange: seduction

Tango. 11:30pm.

Shoes. All you see are her shoes.

Open toes. A small patch of orange leather, boomerang shape, over her feet. A small patch of black leather, boomerang to the other direction, around her ankles. Front and back symmetrical, clad delicately around her feet, beautiful as can be imagined. Long straight stem of a heel. Tall glass stems, supporting those legs. Those fluorescent white shapes glowing from the shadow a black dress. Morphing deities that we now all worship.

They are seeking, fishing for something. The music is loitering, hasn’t really started yet. It’s excruciating to watch. Them fishing. The tip and the heel hover over the floor, not touching. But swirl, hesitate, change course midway. Feeling a mood, not finding. Retrieving, not forgoing. Draw a half circle, another that way, and search again.

We cringe a little, all of us who just a moment ago contracted foot fetishes. None of us feels comfortable. Not inside. We know what this is: Foreplay. Two pairs of legs, liquid on dry land, feeling for an opening. Pouring over the dance floor, thick as mercury. We really shouldn’t be watching. We know. You are either one of the two, or you are intruding.

Finally the music gets to a point. A guy begins singing. The legs wake up to the song and become more decisive. We are relieved, taking a moment to look at the body above the legs. She’s an elegant woman in that indeterminable age sometimes called prime. Her face, no doubt as elegant as the way she moves, is not clear; her black dress, fitly on her body, is fused into her partner’s dark suit. Invariably we come back to her legs. Her legs and her shoes.

If all innovations in the world are a result of scarcity and competition, then all creative arts are products of eros. Ordinary people, insufferably lifeless one moment, become artists the next moment as Aphrodite graces their foreheads with her touch. Woken to life, these inspired souls spend their lives inventing new ways to captivate their desires. They would keep creating, never resting, until they consummate their love, or die from exhaustion trying.

If I didn’t have the now rare chance to feel attractive today, I wouldn’t be inspired to write this much right now.

I wouldn’t see those mesmerizing, fishing shoes of two feet, agonizing, teasing out that never-coming turn of music when they can finally, dance.

「韓白之爭」的二三事

1. 韓寒的特色是用爽快幽默的文字說出大家都想說，但講不出的話。
2. 寫作的人，到頭來，如能說出心裏那幾句，反反覆覆的真實的話，就已經很好了。
3. 韓寒好比馬克吐溫。諷剌裏儘有幽默, 温而不損。自負, 也自嘲。極有自知與知人之明。最重要的是, 跟馬克吐溫一樣，他是人如其文，文如其人，無分彼此。
4. 這兩天裡斷斷續續看完他的博。很少這樣想一人的文字。比如一樣好吃的東西，昨天吃了，今天又想。
5. 韓寒寫博，就像卜戴倫寫歌:「和他的呼吸化為一氣」（”become identical with his breath”）（艾倫金斯堡說卜戴倫是 “a column of air” ， 不就是咱們說的「氣」麼？）照韓寒自己的說法就是: “… 在短短的半小时内，出现了一篇《你的敏锐总是直指我的软肋》，大家在高兴的讨论“高处不胜寒”。不可能，我高晓松堪称才子，写这么一篇文章也要将近三天， 写完后必须修养一个月。他韩寒第二天要比赛，7点要起，我高晓松有熊的力量，对方怎么有豹的速度…” 多生動，多刻薄！:)
6. 「韓白」一役，勾出個重要的題目，就是，需要講真說話時你敢不敢説，懂不懂說，能否直指其要害?
7. 「韓白之爭」真是比（他媽的）電視連續劇還好看，意想不到的人物過界跳進來，毫不相干的大小事兒都拉扯了出來：又有髒話，又有紅衛兵，更有學術腐敗，「親朋相衛」，老少兩代的觀念沖突…… 真箇是高潮迭起— 而且高下立見。本來，underdog據理力爭的故事不是我們盤古以來就愛聽的麼 ？韓寒一個人，一個博，見招拆招。好比《棋王》裡的梁家輝，在漫天胡叱亂喝聲中，穩住頭腦，以一「博」十。難得的是雖然他有點囉嗦，也有點得理 不饒人，卻始終持平講理。對就是對錯就是錯，掩眼法也只是騙術而己。
8. 一 個人博客，通常要經過一段時間要建立一個個人的博客 persona。因為博裡公開與私人的介點和社會上的很不同，網友之間的表達意見的方式也與生活中迴 異。那個平衡點需要忖摸和適應。在「韓白之爭」裡我們見証了兩個博「受不住熱氣」，關閉了。其實也反映了一些博客水土不服，適應不良，沒有完全過渡過來。
9. 當然這一切裡最吸引的，還是那條隱隱然，似有還無的感情線。熱鬧完了，但韓寒一句：「最后，有个人，女人，在朝阳区某地的二楼，看着报纸，笑了。」仍不時浮現腦海，揮之不去。
10. 韓寒這人是應當寫作的，你們「谁也别挡着他」。

A fine piece of writing...

Bloc Party is an autonomous unit of un-extraordinary kids reared on pop culture between the years of 1976 and the present day. Like many such kids, between them they eventually concluded that their own attempts to imitate what had informed them could be construed as a worthy variation on the many forms that preceded. They do everything that's required to conform to the currently received ideas of what a band is: ostensibly to play instruments at the same time, but also have a title for the work created.

Kele picked up a guitar when his hands enabled him to do so and his brain gave him the inclination. Russell had already done as much beforehand when they met in 1998. In the fine print of music papers and in telephone conversations they enabled meetings with Gordon and Matt who also had ideas of some relevance to bring to the collective effort. In this sense a band was created.

Henceforth should follow a list of auteurs and musicians that figured in the formative minds of the four as they went about their work. But to do as much seems churlish in an already self-referential world. Suffice to say there would be no band without the efforts of guitar bands formed in British and American towns in the 70s, 80s and 90s, aswell as visionary writers and artists of various kinds whose work has informed the world and culture itself as it stands. The precise names are as good as any you can come up with, in fact probably much, much better.

... and a pretty decent band too. Check them out: Bloc Party

a working artist in old dear HK...

See Stella So -
Interview at RTHK
Upstairs ‧ Downstairs (page bottom)

Inspiration for us all 哦~

---------
Added 12/19/2006 - Stella So's personal website: smstella.com

Roles I

The grandmother in Fanny and Alexander:

“We all play our parts. Some play them negligently, others play with great care. I'm one of the latter.

The bishop to his pregnant wife:

“You once said you were always changing masks... until finally you didn't know who you were. I have only one mask. But it's branded into my flesh. If I tried to tear it off--
I always thought people liked me. I saw myself as wise, broad-minded, and fair. I had no idea... that anyone could hate me. (I don't hate you.) No, but your son does.

The grandmother with the ghost of her son:

“Yes, Oscar, that's how it is. One is old and a child at the same time. What became of those long years in between… that seemed so important at the time? May I take your hand? I remember your hand as a child. It was small and firm and dry. And your wrist was so awfully slender. I enjoyed being a mother. I enjoyed being an actress too but I preferred being a mother. I liked having a big belly, and I didn't give two shakes about the theatre then. It's all acting anyway. Some roles are nice, others not so nice. I played a mother. I played Juliet and Margareta. Then suddenly I played a widow or a grandmother. One role follows another. The thing is not to shrink from them. But what became of it all? Can you tell me that, my boy? You're a good boy to listen to your old mother's soliloquies, as Isak calls them. Yes, you're a good boy, Oscar,... and I grieved terribly when you past away. That was a strange role to play. My feelings came from deep in my body. Even though I could control them... they shattered reality, if you know what I mean. Reality has remain broken ever since, and oddly enough, it feels more real that way. So I don't bother to mend it. I just don't care anymore if nothing makes sense. Oscar, my dear boy? (Yes, Mama.) Are you sad?
(I'm worried.) About the children? Yes.